The Worst Prank Ever

No Makeover Monday today. The Easter Bunny brought me a horrendous sinus infection. Hard to organize with a 50 lb weight on each cheek. Instead, I decided to rerun the post below. We buried my Dad on April Fool's Day nine years ago. This just seems to fit. 

The Worst Prank Ever

or 

How to make your daughter cry in 30 seconds or less

Dad sometime in the 80's

 When my boyfriend and I abruptly dropped our plans for the Fourth of July and made the three hour trip to my parents' house. I'm pretty sure my Dad already knew what was coming. Especially when mom and I announced we were going shopping and leaving the two of them alone.

First, Dad tried to encourage Scott go shopping with us. When Scott insisted he would rather stay and hang out with him. Dad decided there were a few "chores" that needed immediate attention around the house.

Like cutting down a tree in the back pasture.

So, as I drove away with my mother, knowing full well Scott was going to ask my dad to marry me.

My Dad was smiling, waving and revving a chainsaw!

My mother promised me that Dad would not kill Scott and hide is body in the back pasture. I wasn't so sure.

Dawn and Scott 1997

 A little less than an hour later, my Mom and I were strolling through the mall, heading for the wedding dress store when her cell phone rang.
Checking the display she said, "It's your Dad."
I was all smiles when I answered. "Hi, Daddy!"

Dad was loud, but he rarely yelled and usually did not cuss when talking to me. 

"What do you mean this S.O.B wants to marry you?" He was yelling.
I laughed at first. "Well, you know. He kind of likes me."
Dad got louder. "Well, I told him no. I told him he was not welcome in this family. He told  me to go F*&# myself and took off. He's walking to town right now!"

At that moment, I burst into tears in the middle of Dillards.

My mother took the phone while a very sweet cosmetic counter lady comforted me with a box of tissues. Through the my sobs, I heard my mother saying things like "Well, what did you say?" Pause "What did he say?" Pause. "Why is he walking? Why didn't he take his truck?" Pause. Longer Pause. Longer Pause.

Mom and Dad early 80's

Then, my mother's face changed. She stepped behind a makeover screen, which offered no real sound protection and let loose with a string of insults, ending with "This is your idea of a joke? Your daughter is crying. Crying. Right now in the middle of the store." Then she turned to me, "It's a joke, Dawn. It's a joke. Everything's fine."

I took the phone, through the tears and uncontrollable shaking, I was able to hear my Dad's booming laugh and the words, "I'm sorry, baby. I thought it was April Fool's Day!"

I could barely speak to him or my future husband for the rest of the weekend. Although, my husband disavowed any knowledge of a plot to tease me. He swears he was in the bathroom the whole time. Yeah, right.

So, how did the conversation really go?

Scott: I'm  sure you know why we're here... I want to marry your daughter.
Dad (putting down chainsaw) : Well, if you know her well enough to want to marry her, you know if that's what she wants, there's nothing I can do to stop her. So, welcome to the family. Want some ice tea?
Scott: Thank you. Tea sounds good.
Dad (Patting Scott on the back): Let's call Dawn.

 Miss you, Dad.

What I did on summer vacation...

Thinking about Thursday

So, school starts on Monday. Well, it starts for the kids on Monday. It started for me two weeks ago. Two weeks of sitting in meetings and being reminded why I never had the urge to join the corporate world.

I love teaching.
I hate meetings.

All and all, it was a good summer.

I spent a night sleeping on a  sloped floor, staring  at these guys, hoping the glass was as strong as we were told it was!

Swam in the ocean for the first time in my life. Prayed my friends from above didn't tag along!

And I got to go here!!!!!

So, what did you do on your summer vacation? If you didn't do anything, feel free to make something up. I won't judge.

Avoidance Technique

Thinking about Thursday

   So, you might remember my RWA post last week where I mentioned I was facing a major rewrite on my current manuscript. Everyone offered such encouragement, I'd love to be able to tell you I immediately strapped myself to the chair and pounded out the revisions until fire flew from my fingertips. (A little Devil Went Down To Georgia reference for you this morning.)

Unfortunately, I'm a terrible liar.

As much as I appreciated all the support, I did anything I could to avoid opening that particular file.

Including, cleaning out my closet.

You can probably discern from the picture above, this task had become long overdue. My husband and I finally agreed. Just do it.

It didn't take days and days like I expected. We didn't argue. In fact, I knew the process was going entirely too smooth.

Until, I stood on a step stool to put a marble chess board in the top of the closet and dropped it on my foot. Yes, it is black, blue and, most recently, a hint of green. Thank you for asking.


In my delirious state of pain, with my foot up and an ice pack that hurt worse than the throbbing, my brain started making an odd connection between editing and my closet.

Just stay with me here.

The before closet was functional, but not good.
Too much that didn't belong.
(Yes, that is a hockey stick. Why do you ask?)

It was also overflowing with backstory.
The flowers at the top there are my wedding bouquet...from 14 years ago. You don't even want to know what kind of "keepsakes" were in that box. Let's just say, I don't think I still need the confetti from my high school senior breakfast.





So, we had to unpack everything. Lay it all out and decide what truly mattered to the story. Or, what actually fit and belonged in the closet. This what the point I wanted to cry. And, it was before the chess board attacked me. Seeing it all out there was beyond overwhelming. There was no way we were ever going get this done. But, since our bed is actually underneath there some where, there was no way we couldn't get it done.

 

Talk about goal, motivation and conflict! 

The basic framework needed more. Not much, just tearing down some old fixtures and installing new shelves. Just like my premise needs some tweaking and more inner conflict. 

Finally, we ended up with this. 

Which makes me smile every time I open the door. I can see what I need. I know what's in there and, best of all, I can breathe.

So, yesterday. I opened my manuscript and got started.

What's a few revisions after an accomplishment like that?

Workshop Hangover

Thinking about Thursday

Look, it's Nora Roberts! And, she's standing with ME! 

 

This time last week, I was sitting in my first RWA NATIONALS workshop.

It was an absolutely exhausting, fantastic trip. 

I came home with my brain so full I haven't been able to even open my WIP.

Don't think that was the intended result. 

Other than the general physical exhaustion, which  I have finally recovered from, I think I have a "Workshop hangover". 

RWA was my 3rd writing conference this year. So, I've had this feeling before. I should be completely pumped, motivated, cranking out words so fast you can't see my fingers moving on the keyboard. 

Instead, I couldn't even write my blog post on Tuesday and haven't managed more than a few emails this whole week. 

Why? Because the sheer sense of responsibility to create a quality product is overwhelming. 

After all I've learned this year, I feel like I've been to OZ and seen the man behind the curtain. He's short, ugly and looks alot like my internal editor, Boris.

 I know people are going to tell me,

 "Just write. Just get the words on the paper."

But, I'm past that. I am in my fourth round of revisions.  

And, because of what I learned last week, facing down a HUGE rewrite. 

Please, don't read this as whining.

I will do it. 

I have 11 days before my real life pounces, again. 

I plan to make good use of that time, but I'm still... oh, I don't know... 

Paralyzed with fear? 

Am I the only one? Do you come back from conferences all afire and ready to go? Or does the knowledge it isn't just about "getting the story on paper" give you a moment's pause? 

Writer Round Up

Thinking about Thursday

Writer Round-Up

Since I am in California at RWA,

I thought I'd give you the opportunity to get to know a few of the 

SUPER-COOL people I get to hang out with this weekend. 

In no particular order:

Roni Loren 

Sharla Lovelace

Barb Han

Jerrie Alexander

Olivia Kelly

Lavender Daye

Molly Cannon

 and many, many, more. 

I hope to come back with lots of new friends for author features and Tell Me Your Story Tuesdays. 

Let me know if there's anyone at RWA 12, I should say HI to! 

Happy (early) Birthday to me!

Thinking about Thursday

WELCOME TO MY PARTY!

Saturday is the 8th anniversary of my 29th birthday. 

I had so much fun at my virtual party last year, 

I decided to throw myself another on this year.

So, come on in. 

Have a drink.

Let's laugh and enjoy ourselves. 

Tell me a story. 

If you were taking me out to celebrate, 

Where would we go? 

What would we do? 

You think about that a minute,

I'm just going to open my presents.

Me, age 4

A Bride Opens Shop in El Dorado, California

Thinking about Thursday

Book Review

Tuesday, I interviewed Keli Gwyn about her debut release. If you missed out on that fun, you can read it here. Now that I've had the opportunity to read A Bride Opens Shop in El Dorado,  California, I can't wait to tell you about it.

First, let me say, as an inspirational romance set in the old west, this book was WAY out of my normal reading. But, since I've followed Keli's journey to publication, including crying with her when she opened her first shipment of books (Did you miss that? You can see it here.) I felt so invested in this book, I did little dance in the kitchen the day  I opened it. 

Sorry, no video of that. 

About the Book

An ever-resourceful widow, Elenora Watkins arrives in El Dorado ready to go into partnership with Miles Rutledge. When he refuses, Elenora becomes the competition across the street. Is this town big enough for the two of them?

Miles can’t help but stick his well-polished boot in his mouth whenever he comes face-to-face with Elenora. Can he find a way to win her heart while destroying her business?

Miles’s mother, Maude, is bent on Elenora becoming her new daughter-in-law while Elenora’s daughter, Tildy, thinks Miles would make a perfect papa. How far will these meddlers go to unite this enterprising pair?

Check out Keli's video of the real life inspiration for her story. 

What did I think?  

Let me just say, I smiled like a loon through most of this book. The characters are immediately real and loveable. There is one particular scene where the men in the barbershop are teasing Miles that made me realize people in that time were real. They had lives not so removed from ours. They weren't all gunfighters and staunch lawmen.  They loved their families, flirted with their wives and the men, because they are men, still showed affection by dogging on each other. 

Having been accused (or praised~ whichever way you want to take it) in my life of being a "stubborn, independent woman", I loved the character of Elenora.  Her quick wit and resourcefulness instantly drew me to her. The banter between her and Miles adds a delightful flavor of humor and authenticity to the story. 

This is an inspirational romance, but the message of faith is by no means heavy-handed. References to the Lord and prayer arise organically and do not pull the reader from the story as I have seen in other inspirational works. 

There is also plenty of "romantic tension". Enough to keep you turning the page to find out "Will they?" or "Won't they?" for just a kiss!

  

So, my question to you is, what have you ever wondered about the old west? Can you imagine the people you know living there? If you were there, what would you be? A shop owner? Sheriff? Outlaw? 

The names of those who  leave a comment today will be combined with the names from Tuesday and entered in the drawing for an autographed copy of Keli's book.   

 

I'm Baaaaack!

Thinking about Thursday

Can you guess where I've been?

I'll give you another hint

And last

Also, I took 7,3919 pictures.

All of which I am going to include in this post!

Just keep scrolling! 

Just kidding. 

So, any guesses? I'll let you know the pictures above represent three different stops. 

Tomorrow, we will have our Friday Plot Swap! Then next week, I've got some great interviews lined up. 

Vacation is over. Time to get back to work! 

Welcome Lavender Daye!

Thinking about Thursday

Welcome

 Lavender Daye 

From her website: Lavender was born and raised in Texas and began her writing career in elementary school, where she wrote about the romance of two fellow students. Now she writes with happily-ever-after in mind at all times, sure that every woman deserves a little fairy tale of her own.

Lavender's book debuts May 1st. 
I'm excited to have with us today. 

Let's get to know Lavender! 

Tell us about your book.

A young woman’s journey into a world she didn’t know existed.

Bound by Trust is the story of a young woman on an adventure. Kerri dresses up to go to a club, not knowing her friend is taking her to a BDSM hangout.  While waiting in line, she’s recognized by one of the attorneys from work, and he takes her into the private side of the club as his submissive—and she has no idea what that means until she gets inside with him.

Since you are writing erotic romance, what is your opinion of all the media attention the genre has received recently?

I think it’s great! Too many people disregard romance as a legitimate creative media but our authors are often on the cutting edge, and many of them write about BDSM. Maybe the media attention surrounding E L James’ Fifty  Shades of Gray will bring a few mainstream readers into the happily –ever-after world of romance. 

I love the tag line for your website: Fairy Tales for Smart Women. How did you come up with that? 

I’ve always loved fairy tales.  The handsome prince, the damsel in distress, an evil presence.  All are part of a great story.   Doesn’t  every woman want to be rescued by a prince and live happily ever after?   

What is your writing process like? Do you have a big plotting board with sticky notes or do you just sit down and write whatever comes out? 

I’m definitely a pantser!  I like to start each story with an interesting inciting incident involving the hero and heroine, followed by something a little unusual. Most of the time, I have a fairly clear direction I want the story to go. After that, I listen to the characters in my head. They don’t always follow the directions I give them, which makes for a surprising story.

What has been the best part of this journey for you? 

All the wonderful people I’ve met in the last few years. I’ve made new friends, learned a lot and found a world I enjoy living in.

Tell us about getting "The Call".

It took me a long time to actually send in my submission. Months of procrastinating followed by ten minutes of knit picking while I considered the send button. I sent it on Friday night, and Tuesday I had an email from Siren about publishing Bound by Trust.  My personal Prince Charming came running when I screamed his name, and gave me a big hug.

What's next for you? 

I’m working on a short series. The first book is a ménage, and the two sequels are BDSM, but they’re not quite finished.

Where can we find out more about you?

You can find me at www.lavenderdaye.com or at www.SirenBookstrand.com

Thank you so much for visiting with us, Lavender! I happen to know Lavender in real life and she is great. 
What questions do have for her?

Meeting My Idol

Thinking about Thursday

 Judy Blume

If my day goes as plan, I will spend this evening in the company of greatness! One of my dreams has always been to meet Judy Blume. I spent my adolescence engrossed in her books and tonight she is going to speaking in Dallas! 

SQEEE! 

 I hope to get a picture with her at the book signing afterward, but we are taking my daughters and it will really depend on how long the line is and how late it gets. I am just stupidly excited to get to be in the same room and hear her speak.

What about you? Who would you like to meet? If you had half an hour alone with your idol, what would you talk about? 

I predict...

Thinking about Thursday

I predict....

      Want to feel old? No, of course, you don't. It was rhetorical. I'm going to tell you what made me feel old anyway. Spread the joy, so to speak. 

        My students are analyzing a piece of literature. One of the questions asks them to infer the time period of the story. 

        The correct answer is the 1940's-50's. It is never directly defined, but the subtle clues are that the parents have very defined roles (Mom stays home and takes care of the kids. Dad goes to work, reads the sport section out of the newspaper and isn't overly involved.) The more blatant clue is that a doctor makes a house call and uses the limited medical resources in his bag. 

         Simple enough, right? Want to the answer several of my students gave?

1980's  

Like, whaaat? 

           Their reasoning? The clearly defined gender roles and the lack of medical technology. 

                                              Um, wow. 

               After I got over feeling like I should be collecting my retirement already, I realized in their limited view of the past 30 years ago is the dark ages...which made me start thinking about their view of the future.

               The In Death series by Nora Roberts writing as JD Robb is set 50 years in the future.  The first book, which was published 1995, includes people carrying "data and communication" devices in their pockets. Hmm, maybe like an iPhone? 

                

               My favorite prediction from the In Death series is what Nora Roberts calls, "the autochef". It is a device that you load with food, program your meal and it is cooked and prepared for you. I am all for that!

                So, what do you predict for 30 years from now? Flying cars? Too easy. Video phones? Already got that. Interactive virtual reality games? Yep. Been done. 

                 What's left?  What would you love to see invent that probably won't be but would make our lives so much easier? 

                  I'm going for little robots that gather, sort, wash, dry, fold and put away laundry. The implications of such a marvel would be beyond your imagination... at least it would for me. 

He's not much help.

Never as Good as the Book?

Thinking about Thursday

Are movies ever as good as the books? Updated with my Movie review of 
ONE FOR THE MONEY

I recently overheard several teenage girls  involved in a lively discussion about a certain popular book series (yes, that one with the girl and the vampire and the werewolf). Their conversation focused on comparing the books and the movies. They were particularly blunt about their disappointment in the lack of acting ability.  

One made the passionate speech:

I read all of the books. Talked about it everyday with my friends. Watched every trailer, marked off days on a calendar, stood in line for two hours to see the 12:05 showing and THAT is the best they could do?

So, I have been thinking. 

Are any movies ever as good as the books?

Like the upcoming:

I am worried. I really am. This is one of my favorites. I know how the characters should look. I know how they should sound and I've been burned before.

Did any of you see the movie for this one? 

I think they forgot to take advantage of the "LOOK INSIDE" feature!

UPDATE:  

 

When I first ran this post, almost a year ago, I really wanted to be wrong about this movie. I truly wanted to like it...*Sigh*

I can't say I was disappointed, but I think the definition of disappointed involves expecting something better. Let's just say, I wasn't surprised. 

I spent the whole movie thinking, "It's all wrong! Wrong, wrong, wrong!"

Yes, I get that the movie can't be an exact copy of the book. They have "creative license" or whatever, but UGH! 

Here is my list of complaints:  

• Katherine Heigl~ She just doesn't have the right body. Much of the book focuses on Stephanie being short and curvy. Katherine is neither. She is almost taller than Ranger! (If you are familiar with the books, you realize that is just an impossibility.)
•  Ranger~ In the interest of full disclosure, I will admit I heart Ranger. Morelli is okay, but Ranger makes my heart go pitter-patter. Yeah, this guy... not so much.  Don't get me wrong. He's not hideous. He just wouldn't have me swooning like the 6'5 ripped, hunk of man Ranger is in my dreams.................What? Oh, sorry, where was I? 
•  Grandma Mazur~ Sorry, Mrs. Reynolds, but you are too young and too pretty to be Grandma. Grandma is old, like dinosaur old, and overly wrinkled. She also doesn't dress as well as you. 

  

and then there are the plot changes.  

 I won't include any spoilers because according to my husband if you aren't overly concerned (Um, I think the words he used might have been "crazily obsessed", but, you know, whatever.) about the appearance of the characters, it is a pretty good movie. 

  There is one part I just can't let go. Lula is thrown in the street, not left on the fire escape. Which seems like a little thing, until you connect it to what happens in the future books on the fire escape. 

And don't even get me started on the ending! 

 

What movie do you think does the book justice? What movies have you anxiously awaited only to be disappointed? If you have seen  One for the Money, what is your opinion of the movie?