Friday, May 13, 2011

Bath Night

Thinking about Thursday

Bath Night 


I am a bath person. Not for getting clean, I definitely prefer showers for that. But for relaxing and what I consider, "washing off the day".

Tonight, my bath became a metaphor for my career.

I like what my husband calls, "Lobster Baths". Just enough cold water to keep your skin from actually scalding. Tonight I got distracted while the tub was filling. My bath turned out a step above luke warm.

But I got in anyway. I tried to soak and relax. It wasn't uncomfortable. There were plenty of bubbles. My children were occupied. No one bothered me, but I realized it wasn't what I wanted. I stayed in because I was already there. Not because I was enjoying it.

I considered emptying it and starting over, but I knew there would not be enough hot water this time. I worry about that with writing. When I started my current career, I was young, single and full of energy. Not to mention set on changing the world. I am not that person anymore. I am far from old, but I am settled, married and a mom. I have seen the world for what it is and know I am far from its savior. I worry I will run out of talent, energy, determination and everything I else I need.

Just like the hot water.
 *This is a repost from September 2009*
My situation has not changed yet, but will in the next few weeks. 
So, what are you thinking today? Have any big changes/decisions looming in your future? Is it terrible to stay in your comfort zone when you really long to do something else? 


Teri Anne Stanley said...

Whoa, we really are separated at birth! I live for the hour when I can turn on the taps and settle down in the tub. And think deep thoughts (get it? Bath...water...deep?).
Okay, I don't really think deep thoughts in there, mostly I read and escape from the day.

I don't think that a comfort zone is a bad thing--there is nothing wrong with having a good life and being satisfied with that--but those comfort zones can keep us in a rut, too. I decided back in January that 2011 would be my year of living fearlessly. It's May. Haven't stepped out of the CZ yet...

I have decided that I really don't want to work for a living. So I'm going to start playing the lottery, win a jillion dollars and retire to tend my garden and write brilliant yet trashy fiction. I'll let you know how that works out!

Tressa Green said...

There are many, many times I wish I could get out and DO something. Anything! But so many factors prohibit me from doing so. I get these powerful, passionate, painful pangs (nice alliteration HA!) in my chest sometimes that I'm supposed to be doing something GREAT! But I don't... I'm not.... it gets rather depressing.

During those times, I have to force myself to look around and list all the things I have, all the things I've done that are good... acknowledge that I am very fortunate in many things I take for granted. Then ask myself, would I throw it all away just for a bit of excitement or change? Would the momentary thrill be worth it? The momentary thrill passes and even the change becomes a rut after time, then what?

Desiring change and excitement is probably human nature; how we react to that desire is character.

I don't mean to get all philosophical. >.< I don't take baths... I smoke cigarettes to think. (I know it's bad, but the addiction is horrible.)